21 Signs You’re a Photo Douche.

My response to this: http://rising.blackstar.com/21-signs-youre-a-real-photographer-now.html

1. You have friends? lol. And if you are with these “friends” at some sort of “social gathering” and they hand you their camera, you’re a photo douche.

2. If your camera has a screen, you’re a photo douche. Also if you say “My camera doesn’t have a battery”, you’re a photo douche.

3. Wait? What? Someone had sex with you? Kids? Don’t you mean cameras? Anyway, if your kids call you a photo douche, you’re a photo douche. I was going to say if you have kids you’re a photo douche but I know people with kids and not all of them are photo douches.

4. If the salesmen let you handle the merchandise by yourself, you’re probably too fat to get anywhere fast or they just can’t be bothered with your inane questions that you could have answered by looking at the fucking website. You’re a photo douche.

5. You use the word bokeh, you’re a photo douche. Also if you arrange flowers just to take a photo of them, you’re a photo douche.

6. A gorgeous woman with a digital SLR brushes you - and you only notice her camera, you’re probably a gay photo douche.

7. See 6.

8. You in the back row of a concert with your camera instead of up the front in the pit, you’re a photo douche.

9. Photo lab workers ignore you, you’re a photo douche. I bet you also ask for colour profiles, if so you are a MEGA PHOTO DOUCHE. And I hate you.

10. You’re married? lol, I guess that makes you a photo douche.

11. If other photographers follow you they probably just want to mug you and sell your gear so they can buy a real camera like a Hasselblad.

12. If other photographers ask your opinion about gear when they see you at camera stores it’s because the staff did it so they don’t have to talk to either of you. You are both photo douches. Oh so this is how you made “friends”! See 1.

13. If you watch movies about photographers, you’re a photo douche. The exception to this rule is “War Photographer” which is about a photo douche, so you’re safe. Oh and Apocalypse Now doesn’t count.

14. See 6.

15. If you’ve ever ask anyone what aperture or shutter speed they shot at, you’re a photo douche.

16. If you wear a photo vest, you’re a photo douche. Actually if you wear any kind of photographic related item on your person, you’re a photo douche.

17. If the subjects of your photos aren’t victims of a firing squad, you’re a photo douche.

18. If you call your camera a point-and-shoot, you’re a photo douche.

19. Penis envy. See 6.

20. Your spouse? Fuck that is almost as bad as using the term “fiance”. If you use the word spouse or fiance, you’re a photo douche. Also if you use the word “panties”, you need help.

21. If you have more than 1,00 followers on Twitter and you’re just a fucking photographer, you’re a photo douche.

AND ONE MORE, JUST FOR LUCK!

22. If you write a stupid fucking list like this, you’re a photo douche!